Today’s post is about my practice of “daily mantras,” which are little mindset nudges that I give myself. More than any tactic or strategy, I believe mindset is the greatest determinant of long-term freelance success.
These daily mantras are part of my morning routine. I discussed this practice with a fellow soloist recently, and he suggested that others might benefit from it, and here we are.
My full morning routine includes these five steps:
- Gratitude Journaling – Capturing at least three things to be grateful for, including one moment to savor from the last 24 hours.
- Struggle Journaling – If I’m wrestling with something, I want to write it out, so that it doesn’t cast a shadow over my day.
- Big Rocks – A quick review of my most important priorities for the week.
- To-Dos – An equally quick review of my Todoist app, to ensure that today’s priorities are in line with my Big Rocks.
- Daily Mantra – What we’ll talk about today.
(Everything I’ve described above takes about five minutes, a little longer if it’s a Struggle Journal day.)
Why a Daily Mantra?
I’m not a “woo” guy, at all. But one benefit of aging is that I’ve become more aware of my own thinking patterns and psychological wiring.
In her terrific book The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky posits that each of us has a baseline level of happiness – what she calls our “happiness set point” – which is largely determined by genetics. By her estimate, this accounts for about 60% of our day-to-day happiness.
I’d say my own happiness set point is a 6 or 7. People who REALLY WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW HAPPY THEY ARE kind of freak me out. But if I had to choose, I’d rather hang out with someone like that than with a terminal Eeyore.
According to Lyubomirsky, then, about 40% of our happiness is within our control. We can choose behaviors that meaningfully move the needle.
It’s because of The How of Happiness that I started my gratitude journaling practice. Daily mantras are another way to choose positivity.
A daily theme helps me to fight my tendency to find eight things about myself to work on, which is overwhelming. One, I can deal with.
So, every morning, I review my list of daily mantras (I store them in Google Keep), and I choose one theme for the day. I add that day’s mantra to my to-do list, in all caps, so I can see it all day long.
Unpacking My Daily Mantras
Below is a screenshot of my daily mantras as of Aug. 19, 2023.
It’s a living list. When a certain mantra is no longer working for me, I delete it. When I find a new mantra I want to work on, I add it.
In case these daily mantras can be beneficial for you, here’s a little background on most of them:
10 yrs, 1 hr. This is a pairing of two potent questions: Where do I want to be in 10 years? And what’s one thing I can do in the next hour to get me closer to that?
Give your best. This is my go-to mantra when I’m on-site with a client, delivering a presentation, or working on any kind of deliverable. They’ve put their trust in me, and it’s my responsibility to give them my best.
Circle of control. From Stephen Covey’s concept of three circles: Control, influence and concern. The news media loves it when we’re in our circle of concern, getting all worked up about things that we can do little or nothing about. I’m both happier and more productive when I stay within my circle of control.
Today is the day! A reminder to have a bias for action, which is why this is the closing line on every Soloist Sundays newsletter. Also, it’s the title of one of my favorite Yo La Tengo songs.
“Faire et se taire.” French, translated to me as “Shut up and do it,” which is fantastic.
You get another one. Hey, look – I woke up this morning. I get another day!
One best small thing. Especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I like to ask myself, “What’s the one best small thing I could do right now?” It could take five minutes, but that’s usually enough to set me on a better path.
Speak your gratitude. Kurt Vonnegut told an anecdote about his uncle Alex, who encouraged Kurt to notice when things were going well – not the big wins, but the small daily niceties. And he encouraged Kurt to say, out loud, “If this isn’t nice, what is?” This is good practice.
Water off a duck’s back. A reminder not to let rude neighbors, angry strangers or incompetent government employees get to me, which is a constant struggle when you live in a very large city. (Hat-tip to Jinkx Monsoon.)
Fewer things done better. One of the pillars of my entire approach to soloism.
Dogged incremental progress. From a Peter Kaufman quote: “The most powerful force that could be potentially harnessed is dogged incremental progress over a very long time frame.” (The full transcript and audio of this 45-minute speech, “The Multidisciplinary Approach to Thinking,” can be found here.)
Put the next pearl on the string. From Jonah Hill’s documentary about his therapist, Phil Stutz. Poor Jonah’s a little problematic lately, but Stutz’s wisdom spoke to me: Do the work that only you can do. A lot of people in this world do positioning and strategy work, but when my clients hire me, I’m literally the only person on earth, at that moment, who can deliver the change they need. And no effort is ever perfect, but that doesn’t mean it’s not required. Learn more about this and Stutz’ other concepts here.
Ruthlessly consistent execution. Especially when delayed feedback loops are involved – like marketing and self-promotion – the trick is to be ruthlessly consistent, trusting that good work today leads to good work in the future.
It’s not hard, there’s just a lot of it. I remind myself of this on certain busy days. Sometimes there are many things to do, but none of them are particularly difficult in the grand scheme. So let’s power through.
Set your expectations below reality. A reminder to manage my expectations, lest they manage me.
Put yourself in spots where things can happen. I’m right on the line between an introvert and an extrovert, and like many people, I can swing wildly between the two poles. But spending too much time on the “I” side, while comfortable, is also bad for business. Better to put myself in spots where things can happen – where I can get hired, or meet someone I vibe with, or learn something new.
Summary
One of my promises, with Soloist Sundays, is to share what I’ve learned from 26 years of doing this. My “daily mantras” practice is recent – from the last five years or so – but it’s been tremendously beneficial for both my business health and my mental health.
Do you have a practice like this? Or do you have a different method for managing your mindset? Drop me a note back – I’d love to know more about it.
Your time is valuable, and I hope I’ve rewarded it. If so, your shares are greatly appreciated, as I try to spread the gospel to as many freelancers as possible.
I have a limited number of slots available for 1-1 coaching. I’m not some guy who’s been freelancing for a minute – I’ve been doing it since 1997, with brands you’ve actually heard of. Click here to find out more about how my coaching services can help you level up.
Copyright 2023 – Matthew Fenton. All Rights Reserved. You may reprint this article with the original, unedited text intact, including the footer section.